Dave Ramsey likes to joke that Americans need to stop spending money they don’t have buying people gifts that they don’t need.
He’s right. The Christmas “gift-giving” season is one of those things that outsiders must look at and just scratch their heads. It’s out of control and it’s doing real damage to us and to our children. We need to stop it.
Why do we do it in the first place? There are lots of reasons, most of them having to do with our fallen psychology and the “madness of crowds.” None of the reasons are rational.
You may not think I’m being fair, after all, gift giving is a natural instinct. Even secular anthropologists have argued for the historical “fitness” of giving presents. Plus, everyone knows it’s good to sacrifice yourself so that you can bring joy to others – and especially children. Isn’t that part of the message of Christmas?
How can I be such a Scrooge, humbug, and Grinch? Don’t I love children?
Yes, I do love children. That’s why I want this crazy to stop. Here are some points to consider:
- Spending money you don’t have is irresponsible. Doing it for optional purchases is even worse. If giving gifts is so important, then budget for it. Set aside cash for that purpose and follow your budget. The January debt hangover is well deserved. Don’t go there. As for children, what kind of example are you setting for them?
- Kids have enough toys and games. Most have too many. Do they appreciate what they have? We are playing to the worst in their natures, making them feel entitles. The desire for stuff is insatiable; it’s how we’re wired. You can’t bring kids real happiness with stuff. In fact, I would argue that you are actually hurting them by playing on their greed and sense of entitlement. As for the joy it brings, it is ephemeral. And even the temporary return of joy from one gift to the next is increasingly marginal. If we love our children, we need to be more intentional about how we treat them.
- Like Christmas dinner, gift-giving originally served to augment the main even of the season: the celebration of the Birth of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. That stopped being true a long time ago. Now, Christmas services (or “service”, if even one is attended!) are the smallest part of the festivities and rituals most families celebrate.
The irony here is that the one thing that can bring real happiness – Jesus Christ – is being hidden by the accumulation of things; debt, shopping, parties, greed, busy-ness, that do little good and whole lot of bad.
It’s easy to ignore the recurrent calls to “keep Christ in Christmas”; but it needs to be said because we are not doing it. This desacralization even seeps into parish life. I love Cookie Walks, baking sessions, and the like, but I fear that they replaced the traditional Orthodox disciplines of Philipivka (Nativity Lent/Advent) like fasting, charity (to include giving gifts to strangers), prayer, and attending the various pre-Nativity services. The cookies and fellowship is wonderful, but what have we done to the ark of salvation? I wonder if Martha was baking cookies while her sister attended to the Lord? If we really loved children, then I think we would spend less time shopping and more time bringing them to church.
By turning Christmas into a worldly feast and Advent into one long shopping and baking extravaganza, we are accepting and participating in its vision of salvation and peace on earth. But that vision cannot save, that vision cannot bring lasting joy.
Reject the worldly way of preparing for and celebrating Christmas. Embrace financial responsibility, embrace thankfulness and moderation, and most of all, embrace the Church’s plan to bring you and all the children of the world true joy. Who knows more about bringing you peace and happiness: Macy’s and MasterCard or the God who gave you the greatest gift: His Son for the salvation of the world?!
